OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
