we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
