ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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