Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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