He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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