yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
