Nicole vs. Life
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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