i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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