"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
