there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
try to milk me bitch
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