she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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