Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He passed out mid-signature
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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