Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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