Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
