Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I sprained my soul last night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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