My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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