the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
