doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
