If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
