Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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