she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
