i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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