I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
