This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
