stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
