Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
