I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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