it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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