The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
