those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
