Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
two words...techno handjob
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
