I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My penis needs a shock collar
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
