you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
