omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
