We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
