im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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