just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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