"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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