I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
