i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
