NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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