I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
