I am spending my child support on dildos
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
