I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
