I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
