Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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