I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
