What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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