He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this beer tastes like vomit already
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
