Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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