I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
