Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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